FO.MO, FOBO, or FODA: do you suffer from any of these phenomena? Don't worry. Don't be alarmed! These are just initials that, in English, mean a syndrome. We'll explain what it is below. And at the end of the article, we'll provide some tips you can follow to begin alleviating this condition, which, if not controlled in time, can turn into a serious health problem.
In 2004, author Patrick J. McGinnis coined the term FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) when writing an article on the topic. Later, Joseph Reagle reiterated and emphasized it, reinforcing the emergence of two other terms: FOBO (Fear Of Being Off) or Fear Of Better Options) and FODA (Fear Of Doing Anything).
Let's start by talking about FOMO, as it is what often leads to the emergence of the other two syndromes.
FOMO:
It's the fear of being left out of events that happen online , whether through stories and likes on Instagram, Facebook, or other social media platforms. We feel like we're part of those wonderful stories and/or photos, and that if we're not there, we're not experiencing them. We think other people's lives—what they have and do—are better than ours. As such, we want to be a part of them and have to constantly access social media to stay on top of things. Therefore, we live in a constant state of anxiety that increases disproportionately if we can't access it. Seriously: if we don't access it, we feel like we've missed a moment of our own life!
According to some experts, this problem isn't new and is linked to jealousy and envy. However, social media has led people to not only expose their lives even more, but also to show only the parts that can most arouse desire in others: the best photos, the best moments, the best clothes, etc. Generally speaking, no one shows much of their lesser qualities.
FOBO:
FOBO and FOMO give rise to FOBO: Fear of going offline or discarding (missing out) other options. This urge to constantly live on social media ends up driving us to everything else the internet has to offer. There have never been so many opportunities, so many options, in the history of humanity. Everything is fast, nothing takes long. And the human brain doesn't have the capacity for that. It also doesn't handle choosing one thing among many—because we're afraid of missing out on something better.
So, a certain panic sets in just thinking about being offline . Because there's the feeling that you might be left with nothing. And if that happens, anxiety spikes, and some people experience severe anxiety attacks and/or even attempt suicide.
FUCK:
It's the fear of doing anything due to an excess of options. Both FOMO and FOBO can lead to FODA syndrome. Those who are anxious by nature or already suffer from at least one of the above syndromes may sometimes have difficulty doing anything due to paralysis, as the creator of this term puts it. Example: when you try to choose a movie to watch, online or elsewhere, and can't choose one because the fear of making the wrong choice and missing out on the best option overwhelms everything else. Or searching for a recipe online and ending up not making any of them because the others also look good and " I wish I could make them all!", etc. You think that whatever you choose can always be the wrong choice.
Facts:
Before the selfie we see, approximately 4 or 5 were taken that didn't turn out well; behind a wonderful landscape video there are often people crying; behind a photo of a sushi plate in a 5-star restaurant there might be an unpaid loan installment, and so on;
Young people and men up to 34 years old are the most affected by these problems, and the social network that has aggravated these syndromes is Instagram . It beats Facebook .
Tips:
These syndromes are linked to anxiety issues and a mindset that's lost in the fog of illusions. Your life, however bad it may be, certainly has something positive;
Try to find the good things in (and of) your life and dedicate yourself to them more often, otherwise, without realizing it, your life passes you by and you don't live, learn or evolve;
If you go offline: If the problem is accessing documents, passwords , or bank accounts, start taking precautions by not saving everything in the cloud or in email . Continue to save your most important documents and contacts on paper.
The practice of mindfulness has been highly recommended in these situations. This is because the entire concept greatly helps regulate stress and anxiety. Start with breathing techniques ( pranayamas ), work on your acceptance by doing self-compassion exercises, and progress to different emotional management to begin to have more patience, less impulsiveness, and greater peace of mind.
Vanda do Nascimento is a therapist, coach, and mindfulness instructor at the Escola de Mindfulness Essencial , which she founded in 2016. She began her career as a teacher in 1997, graduating with a degree in Pedagogy. Around the same time, she also began studying Reiki, Meditation, and Mindfulness. She later pursued psychology and delved deeper into mindfulness to continue her struggle to manage stress and anxiety.
