[Today’s Christian, November-December 2003]
Q. I’m a new Christian, but I still have some sins in my life that I am having a hard time getting away from. I keep trying but I feel like a failure to God and to myself every time I stumble. How do others in my situation handle this’ How does God look upon people who love him and know better, but still trip along the way’ —Todd H., via email
A. Todd, rest assured that every Christian has some sins that they ‘have a hard time getting away from’; in fact, ‘some’ sounds like an undercount. But you probably mean that there are a couple of sins in particular that especially concern you. You know they are unworthy of a Christian, but too often, when temptation knocks, you welcome it on in.
You probably feel like St. Paul, who wrote, ‘I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing that I hate’ (Romans 7:15). In his ‘inmost self,’ Paul says, he delights in God’s law, but another kind of ‘law’ drives his fleshly nature to choose to do the opposite. Paul cried, ‘Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death”
You already know the answer to that question; what you want to know is what you can do about it. The first line of defense, of course, is prayer: ask God to help you resist this temptation. If you can’t yet ask that sincerely, ask him to help you *want* to resist the temptation, or even that you will begin to want to want to resist. Go back as many steps as you need to till you’re telling the truth. That’s where God is waiting for you.
Second, consider whether you need some earthly help as well. Some chronic sins, like alcohol abuse or sexual compulsion, are overwhelming to the individual. Professional counseling or self-help groups can lend strength to turn good intentions into lasting achievement.
Your sin’s power may be rooted in habit. Dr. Robert Epstein has spent decades studying what techniques best change bad habits. He recommends the ‘Three M’s ‘:
- Modify your environment (arrange it so that good habits are more convenient and bad habits less so),
- Monitor your behavior (for example, put a check on the calendar each day you meet your goal), and
- Make commitments (covenant with supportive friends to be accountable).
Finally, know that your perception of your own sin is likely to be skewed. You might feel urgently that a particular sin be dealt with immediately, while God knows that another sin underlies it and must be rooted out first. Only He knows the depths within us; we see ‘in a mirror dimly’ as St Paul says, and our self-knowledge is limited and confused. Yet God sees all the way through us, to things that we cannot yet bear to know about ourselves. Yet he loves us completely, and plans in his own time to present us to himself ‘in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.’ Let him bring you to complete healing step by step, in his own timing and his own way. In the meantime, you can say one thing for stumbling: it’s humbling.
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Q. My fiance’ says that because he was conceived out of wedlock, and his parents didn’t marry, he is forsaken by God and can never go to Heaven. I’ve never read the Bible but Don has, or at least listened to it on tape, and he says this is what it says. So he refuses to go to church: why go and pray, when it’ll get him nowhere? I don’t know if what he believes is true or not and it is eating me up inside. — Laura D., via email
A. Deuteronomy 23:2 says, ‘No bastard shall enter the assembly of the LORD; even to the tenth generation none of his descendants shall enter the assembly of the LORD.’ I can imagine that this verse, taken out of context, made a big impression on Don; no doubt he heard himself personally rejected.
The immediate context, however, is not concerned with holiness but with establishment the newborn Hebrew community. Exacting guidelines are given concerning the punishment of adulterous spouses and rebellious children. There are even health and safety regulations. Illegitimacy was rejected in strongest terms, because it is one symptom of an unstable community. It still is.
However, in light of the New Testament, children born out of wedlock are not themselves rejected. After all, none of us has any control over the circumstances of our conception. We see among Jesus’ ancestors Perez, who was conceived by Tamar and her father-in-law, Judah, as well as Rahab the prostitute, and King Solomon, who was born to King David by a woman he stole from another man.
The following Deuteronomy verses forbid members of certain Gentile nations to enter the assembly of the LORD—but Paul declares that in Christ ‘salvation has come to the Gentiles’ (Romans 11:11). The preceding verses forbid a eunuch to enter the assembly, but the apostle Philip was sent to teach and baptize a eunuch (Acts 8:26-40). In Christ, all the ancient barriers of separation were coming down. This means that there is no reason for Don to stay away from church’no reason on God’s side, anyway.